The Myth of The Perfect Guy

foil heart

You’ve heard of it. This species, that supposedly exists. He has been spotted across the nation throughout almost every state. There are non-believers, but I am here to dispel the rumors and inform you, that the perfect guy does in fact EXIST. I’ve interviewed 13 women who say this creature has wine waiting after a long day at work, gives voluntary massages, and even paints toe nails. The following women are in long-term relationships, engaged, or married.

I asked, “What little things does your guy do for you that make you feel loved?” Here are their responses:

Beth: “He leaves me surprise hearts, usually made out of tin foil.  He snuck this one (pictured above) into my lunch one random day. It was wrapped up with my sandwich!”

Molly: “ I work 12 hour shifts. He always packs me a lunch the night before (even though I am completely capable of making my own lunch!). I know he did this while I was pregnant, but I think this tradition started pre-pregnancy: I love the chocolate chip cookies at Subway. He would go buy me cookies from Subway for dessert (even though we hardly ever ate/ordered subway sandwiches). He never hesitates to help make my life easier. For instance, if I’m busy doing something else or if I’m just simply tired after a long day, he will go run errands I needed to do/keep putting off (ex: get gas for my car, pick up face wash, etc…) Now he does the same for our baby. Last night at midnight he rushed over to CVS to pick up meds for her because she was uncomfortable. He then came home and told me he would hold her because I needed to rest between feedings. No hesitation.”

Tanisha: “Every Sunday night he plays poker with my dad’s poker group who are all above the age of 50, and he is awful at poker. He watches the Real World and Teen Mom with me, even when his favorite basketball team is playing. He will randomly buy me cards and write the sweetest letters. Not just on holidays, but because he missed me or knows I have had a tough week.”

Jane:Gets my favorite junk food: flamin hot cheetos/goldfish/kit Kat/cheez-its. He then doesn’t judge me when I eat them in weird OCD ways, (he thinks it’s cute). Like eating Cheetos with chopsticks so I avoid flavored fingers, or eating the non salty half of the goldfish first, or nibbling on cheez-itz like a mouse, or breaking the kit Kat up then eating all the chocolate off, then eating each wafer layer. Not only does he get me food, but he gets ME, weird habits and all and he loves me for it. Head rubs in the morning without having to ask.”

Sarah: “On days when I have to take the bus home at night and it is dark, he meets me at the bus stop to walk me home which I love. He also does all the laundry. ALL of it. Like I always have clean underwear, lol.”

Betty:He makes my lunch every day. It’s so amazingly sweet because I’m always running late and not having to make my lunch saves me so much time (I could make it at night but who’s that organized?). Pizza is my favorite food, and it was a Friday night tradition when I was growing up. Now, every Friday he calls my favorite pizza place and orders delivery because he knows it makes me happy. Even though we’re married and share a bank account, he always pulls out his card to pay when we go out. When we eat out, he’ll ask our waiter if they serve Coke or Pepsi, because I’m a Coke lover, Pepsi hater. He lets me put my cold feet on his legs when I get into bed. We watched the movie “Blackfish” the other night and it made me sad, so afterwards he found this Netflix show called “Too Cute!” that is just adorable puppies running around and watched it with me until I felt better.”

Angie: “Frequently, when I come home from work he gets up when I walk in and takes my bag from me to put away, which seems like nothing but it’s like he’s taking work off my shoulders. He knows I’m a picky eater, and always makes food I will want to eat (he does most of the cooking), even if it’s practically the same thing every night. He will cut up apples for me with lunch, because he knows I like to eat them that way. He is currently knitting me a scarf, in preparation for our Europe trip. Knitting. A. Scarf. And it’s gorgeous. On our 1 year anniversary, which is supposed to be the ‘paper anniversary’, he learned how to fold origami paper cranes and made me a bunch of them.  So cool. When it’s cold, he lets me burrow my feet under him when we’re on the couch. If I’m having an awful day, sometimes I’ll email him or text him about it before I come home, and often on those days I will come home to an already poured glass of wine or some other drink, and sometimes candles and other relaxing things. Oh my gosh, this list could seriously go on and on.”

Nicole: “He texts fun things throughout the day, buys lots and lots of chocolate when I’m on my period, cooks for me, writes me little notes of encouragement, plays me a song, and does a really good Yoda impression to make me laugh when I’m sad.”

Sally: “Whenever we are out to eat and he orders a meal with fries (since I normally “try” to order a salad), he always orders a side of ranch for me (for his fries) even though he prefers honey mustard. He always buys me the latest Cosmo mag. Whenever I’ve had a long day at work, he knows the first thing to do is pour me a glass of wine. He gives me “cramp massages” during that time of the month (weird but true). He’s good at picking up and acting on hints, like that time he surprised me with a picnic (which I always said I wanted to go on) or surprised me with an ahi poke appetizer from our fave fish restaurant (which I always said I wanted to try, but never ordered since he wouldn’t eat it). He records my favorite shows at his place so he can watch them with me, even though he normally hates them. After almost 4 years, he still opens my car door (and any door) about 99% of the time. Not sure if this is considered nice or weird – hahah, but he likes painting my nails and considers it “arts and crafts time.”

Casey: “He’s always making sure there are cheerios and almond milk in the fridge because he knows it’s an essential part of my morning routine, gives me a foot massage on a regular basis and doesn’t make fun of the fact that my feet are definitely not my best feature, and orders vegetarian dishes at a restaurant (even though he’s a carnivore) so that we can share.”

Anna: “On the first day of school every year he makes my lunch the night before so it’s waiting for me in the fridge and he puts a note in it telling me it’s going to be a great year and I’m a great teacher, etc. Then he wakes up early that morning of the first day, while I’m showering, and has breakfast waiting for me. Anytime I’m sick, he stops at Ralph’s on his way home and gets their chicken noodle soup because he knows it’s my fav. He will take care of any of my friends because he knows they mean the world to me. He cooks dinner for us almost every night and then washes the dishes because I’m exhausted from work (and maybe a little lazy). He saw a Micky Mantle jersey online and bought it for my dad because he knows Mantle is my dad’s favorite Yankee ever. We were racing in the Vineman Aquabike, (112 mi bike ride). I was dying. Instead of going ahead to get an awesome finish time, he stayed with me to make sure I was OK and to talk me through it so I could finish. He sends me random buzzfeed type links all the time to funny things he thinks I’ll like and that will make me laugh. My mom loves him more than she loves me and has admitted that he is her favorite child because as soon as she texts all of us, he is always the first to respond to her (sometimes the only one). When I fall asleep with my glasses on reading or watching TV he always takes them off, folds them up, and places them safely on my nightstand.”

Lauren: “My boyfriend sends me a “Lovie video” every morning telling me I’m going to have a great day. When we are driving in the car he reaches for my hand and states, “I’m so lucky” and smiles. Nose kisses.  He pushes me to be better by recommending books that can help me excel in projects I’m working on at my job, ensures his house is fully stocked with all my favorite food (even if he doesn’t eat it), and is always prepared to make my favorite meal (French toast). He listens to everything I say and remembers it! Sometimes this backfires for me, and my favorite: the way he looks at me… hard to explain but it makes me feel like the most beautiful girl in the world.”

Robyn: “He made me bubble baths with a glass of wine waiting when I came home from 15 hour days during nursing school. He creates handpicked and arranged flowers in a vase for special occasions. He writes me poems, has fresh clean pjs waiting when I come home from work, always has the house cleaned, and laundry done. For my birthday, he completely gutted, painted and redecorated our bedroom in 1 day.”

Me: “Whenever I order fries, my boyfriend, “K” will always ask for extra ranch for me before I get the chance to say it because he knows I will always need more. Before we go to bed at night, he always asks if I want water for my side of the bed. When I leave for school, he helps pack snacks for me and organize my duffel bag for the things I will need and carries my bags to the car. I hate being cold. Sometimes if we can’t find a parking spot, he will drop me off in front of wherever we need to be, so I don’t have to walk when it is freezing out (basically anything 60 degrees or below). If I go out for a girl’s night, he’s always my designated driver. “K” always cooks for me, takes out the garbage cans, and will pick up vitamins for me at Costco if he sees I am running low. He also gives me his sweatpants as PJs because he knows I like his better than mine.”

The common qualities of this species seem to be extra warm calves, the ability to assemble food for their women, pour wine at the end of a long day, and intuitively order ranch dressing. Truly perfect.

So, remember when I told you I was that jaded, cynical girl, that thought good guys did not exist?  They were all pretty much a**holes. Well, after reevaluating my life and understanding it was partly due to my behavior that I wasn’t finding this type of man (which will be explained in a future post), I realized that perfect guys are out there.

Hopefully, this post proves to other girls that these men are real.  To the ladies in relationships who don’t get this type of treatment, know that if you truly want it, you are capable of getting better. Every girl deserves this type of behavior. Sorry to the guys who see this post, you may now need to heavily step up your game. Of course, not everyone shows love in the same ways, but I think these are some pretty lucky ladies. All the women on here are my good friends. They are strong, independent, and amazing. They love themselves enough to let someone else love them, and do nice things for them too. Obviously, nobody is perfect, but these guys seem pretty perfect for these girls. As “K” is for me.

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